Today I was called in to see my doctor for a “chat”. This is not a usual thing.
It turned out he wanted to assess me for ante-partum depression and the possibility that I might succumb to post-natal depression after the baby is born. It didn’t go well.
Doctor L: “How are you? Are you feeling at all depressed?”
Me: “Well, let’s see. I’m throwing up between two and six times a day, every day and have been doing so for eight weeks now. I have no appetite and cannot really eat anything. I feel sick if I don’t eat but I also feel sick from eating all the time. My pee is cloudy so I fear another urinary tract infection, I’m dehydrated, my mouth is dry yet I drool the minute my head is not completely upright and my eyes water so it looks like I’m crying. My tongue is covered in ulcers, my throat hurts from so much throwing up and my jaw aches from the same. I’m becoming anaemic, I’m tired and have no energy. On top of that I have a hacking cough and sore throat and really, doctor, I have pretty much lost the will to live.”
Doctor L: “Oh well, I’m glad to see that you’re managing.”
Me: (I’m managing? Dear God. Breathing deeply.)
Doctor L: Looks blankly at me. “So, do you think you might get depression after the baby is born?”
Me, sighing – I mean what’s the right answer to a question like that?: “I don’t know.”
Doctor L: “Okay, well, glad to see that you’re staying positive. I’m sure you will be blooming in the next few weeks.”
I wanted to stay and see what he wrote in my notes: this woman is deranged and should be monitored weekly for being completely strange, not to mention the inability to answer a question without being sarcastic.
I don’t think the doctor and I are friends.
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