Blog confessions

Adrenalynn recently posted some confessions and I was inspired to do the same because I like to share. So here are my top five confessions:

Confession Number 1

I tell my children I cannot come out and play with them in the garden because I am busy doing chores. In reality I am on Facebook, and I occasionally wave out the window to them and look like I am busy at the sink. My justification: I didn’t go through childbirth four times and provide them each with three siblings just so they could whine that they are lonely outside and need me to come and play.

Confession Number 2

When my children don’t want to go to school I tell them I am going to work, even though I work at home. My justification: I work. They need an education. It stops them having a meltdown on the way to school. (They’re still self-centred enough that they haven’t thought to ask where I work. Which also means I should be good for another fifteen years or so.)

Confession Number 3

I have been known to be late for school once or twice. In the late book I write something grown up like ‘overslept’ or ‘couldn’t find car keys’, you know, something that makes me sound super-organised when in fact I just needed a few minutes to stand in my achingly blissful silent kitchen, watching the children’s behaviour slowly disintegrating in the car like a U-rated horror movie and say to myself   …….and BREATHE. About fourteen times. My justification? I may be late for school, but I look completely together about it.

Confession Number 4

I am having Botox. Don’t judge me, because I’m having the Botox in my ass.

Confession Number 5

Sometimes, just very very occasionally, although almost never you know, I am happier writing about parenting my children than I am actually parenting them. OK so shoot me, but come and meet my children first and then make that decision. Come during the arsenic hour. It’ll be fun!

So, have you posted your confessions?

Tagged as: blog confessions, memes