I am a softie. I do sentimental in a big way. I cry a lot, often with happiness.
I gravitate to kind people, people with big hearts, people who love dogs, people who care.
My favourite songs are all uplifting, soaring (my all time favourite – Elbow’s One Day Like This: throw those curtains wide! one day like this a year’d see me right).
I love my children, my family, with a passion that threatens to hurt.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I cannot write satisfactorily about stuff like this.
The best writers, in my mind, are those that turn cloying sentimentality into something that makes your heart beat a little faster, their turn of phrase making you nod your head in tacit agreement.
That’s not me.
Yet, yet, I am unbearably happy at the moment. I have been for a long time.
There is so much that is good: my husband who works so hard so that we can live the life we do, who trains so hard in order to raise money for our son, who drives home from looking after his father – who needs him more – to look after us, who loves me even when I am brittle after another long day with the children; my children who mean everything to me and who, in the blink of an eye- in four blinks of an eye – taught me how to love completely, fearfully and unconditionally, who teach me to learn to be patient, to work at being a better parent, a better person; our house, which is nothing special, but is, because it holds so many perfect memories of our lives; the work/life balance I have carved which has brought me suprising contentment; the area we live, surely one of the most beautiful parts of the world; the plans we have as a family, even if we can’t quite seem how to realise them, that give us something to work towards together; my friends who are always there for me, who describe me, somewhat as a surprise to me, as kind and funny – kind, funny and also very tall (possibly I might already have known about the tall).
When something terrible happens in life, it really brings into focus the good things. Day to day it would be easy to get bogged down in the literal and figurative crap. But it’s easier to look beyond that. I already used to count my blessings, but now I pretty much only see the blessings.
The short game these days is not always easy but the long game is perfect.
This is the first time I have tried Josie’s Writing Workshop (so please be gentle!). I chose ‘pick an emotion that best represents your state of mind right now’.