I am trying hard only to blog positive stuff as much as possible at the moment. So my long absence reflects a crappy last few weeks.
We have been on the road visiting family in difficult circumstances, but we made the most of the trip and tried to make it fun for the children and it was good to get away. Also, Matthew has been away what seems like most of the last two months, what with being stranded in Japan and then having to deal with family matters, so it is with some relief that the sun is shining and life seems to be back on a slightly more even keel. And we are all home. Getting away is good but I am a bit of a homebody and I like our daily family routine. All four of my sons are a bit like me in that respect, but two especially so:
Harry, eight, is struggling with the fact that a move is on the horizon, mostly because of the worry about changing schools and having a different bedroom – how to explain that all will be well and he will find new friends and his new bedroom will have the same bed, same toys and so on – but even bringing up the subject brings on tears or bad behaviour. So we don’t mention it. But I would rather talk about it and try and address any fears wherever possible. Otherwise it’s just one more thing he is internalising which comes straight back out in the form of his sometimes bad behaviour.
Ben, a young four, is struggling with the fact that a move to big school in on the horizon, even though he is ready, but he is wilfully resistant to change (and with everything that goes on day to day in our family I totally understand why we all need a bit of consistency). Preschool understands his need to adapt to change in his own time. He always comes around to it when he is ready and they have realised that it is so much better not to push him to do things. Last Friday I could have fallen on the floor in surprise when I put sunscreen on him and there was no meltdown, no thrashing, no tears, nothing. I was speechless and looked at him, words forming in my mouth but unable to utter them. He beat me to it: ‘I’m a big boy now, Mummy.’
Now just to get him to learn to wipe his own bottom and my work as a mother is done.
Photo: David Reece
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh the bum wiping, yes I am working on that with Mini!!
it’s one of the great joys of motherhood, no?
Change is really scary. It is only when you’ve done it quite a few times that you remember that it can be exhilerating and fun and worth it. Poor little lads.
PS – if you can pass on any tips on how to persuade boys that wiping their bottoms is a good thing that they should do, I’d appreciate any help going…
my husband threatens ‘you don’t want to be known as Skidmark Sam, do you?’
I prefer the bribery approach, a good wipe gets a good chocolate button.
Not sure you REALLY want either of those tips though….
Aww bless. here they have fancy bum wipes in a bright colored box thing which sounds daft but can be encouraging. However telling them they only need one wipe is something else…..Love the Skidmark Sam comment.
We moved 6 times in 8 years when my eldest was 7 and younger. Telling her she could paint her room (well pick a color) made a difference….the school thing can be slightly more daunting.
If you are moving over here – the school holidays (12 bloody weeks in the summer) can be a good carrot to dangle.
But I am a homebody too. Love my bed. Love my messy house…..
we’ve dangled the decorate-your-room carrot, but no joy. In fact, we’ve dangled so many things I’m wondering if he might just be seeing what he can get out of us!!
There’s something lovely about getting away (particularly if there’s room service and a restaurant) but it’s even more lovely to get home, even to my own messy house!
Am sorry you have been having a rough time.
I am also sorry that you didn’t write while you were having a bad time.
I know for me last month was also pretty awful, first hubby got stuck cause of volcano (but thats petty), then car broke down adn needed to be towed in middle of night in middle of the west bank (not fun, but that is also petty), then FIL was hospitalized and was doing pretty badly (ok now), then ct found something on hubby’s lung and he needed broncoscopy (seems like lung disease but nothing too bad) and then SIL parents were in bad car accident and her mother killed. Like I said a bad month.
But what I found the writing helped me with was to focus and draw out a positive even from the bad. I have rally tried to write in general in a positive way, and that has helped me in life to look for the good and the changes in dynamics and people’s growth while going through bad things.
So just wanted to give you big hugs and next time you are going through rough times to encourage you to write about it, and maybe because you do want to write positive stuff and stay away from negative, to try to find the lessons and the growth you experience in times of troubles.
HUGS!
Sorry Susie you’ve been having such a terrible time.
I am quite a positive person and this last year has been so bloody hard and so much of my writing has been about dealing with it that I just feel I need to focus on the positive, but you’re right it is possible to write about bad stuff in a positive way and I do find writing therapeutic. I just couldn’t this time because it wasn’t my story to tell.
Thanks so much for your comment, your blog is inspirational and I appreciate you commenting here.
I’m sorry it’s been a tough few weeks…I wondered where you were.
Moving is so hard for the children isn’t it if they don’t like change. Fingers crossed they accept it without it being too painful for them and for you.
I think they’ll be fine. Ben will be fine with school. But Harry and the move will be a bit more tricky, and none of us need tricky right now
Hey Ella ahve you thought about some resuce remedy its fabulous and as your move looms a bark flower remedy of walnut which is used for breaking bonds. Bum wiping is an issue in our house as well I get yelled out from the loo “I am finished Mummy” or he does it himself ( not a flash job by any means ) and then I need the water blaster to remove the brake marks as they are way worse than the skids lol
How are your bedsheets these days Jodie? Or have you banned Ollie from jumping on them
I’m sorry you’ve had a rough few weeks – at least now you are home and can recharge a little before embarking on all those changes (change IS hard!)
Thank you Donna and, yes, we are all taking time to recharge.