A hotel that calls itself a family hotel is categorically NOT a family hotel if it doesn’t pay attention to the details that make a holiday with small children workable.
Last week we spent the week in Devon in a lovely family-friendly cottage. Except the cottage wasn’t set up for small children. The water was scalding, there were breakable objects everywhere and a medley of knives glinted invitingly on the wall, just ready for the children to stab each other.
But we are seasoned holidaymakers and with four small children we have learnt that there is only really one thing you need to make sure you pack, just in case:
yup, a roll of masking tape and some black trash bags (bin liners).
Because right after you have moved all the breakable ornaments out of reach and put the knives on a high shelf, you are going to do this:
Otherwise you are going to have a miserable first evening where all the children moan that it is too light to go to sleep and it’s not nightime yet and why haven’t you gone to bed yet mummy? and can I have some of your wine?. NO.
And then you are going to have a miserable night where you are woken by children scared by the unfamiliar surroundings and needing to pee and who are then, despite their midnight meanderings, awake again at 4.30am because the sun is awake and THEY CAN SEE THAT.
And then that next day they are going to be whiny and tired and argumentative. And quite possibly you will be whiny, tired and argumentative. You are going to go out to a fancy restaurant where there is nothing on the menu they want to eat so you have to cajole the manager into making a special children’s meal, for which you are going to pay the price of a fillet steak regardless, and then they are going to do this:
And then you are going to carry their limp and tired bodies home because they cannot walk because they are Sooooo Tired. You will plan the afternoon’s entertainment – entertainment which is only likely to be entertaining for the children – and when you have made meticulous plans you will look across and see this on your floor:
And it might cross your mind at that moment that maybe, just maybe, YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME.
Top photo: familymwr
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Bonus tip: you can use your masking tape for this too:
Although I would never leave my plug protectors at home, even when my husband had asked me twice if they were in the suitcase.
What disasters have you had on holiday? Do you have any top tips to make sure your family holiday goes smoothly?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
The essential item I have learned to take with me on holiday is a set of realistic expectations. It was some years post-children before I gave up taking a pile of paperbacks. Now I take one, and rejoice if I get a chance to read it. There are other expectations I’ve adjusted over time too. A holiday is a change of scene, but not a break. I love them, but it took me a while to work out that with kids, they are not the same thing as they used to be.
Yes, a holiday with children is an oxymoron. It is more of the same somewhere else.
For me, a holiday is if I don’t have to cook (which we didn’t) and if I get a chance to read (which I did, I read Jodi Picoult’s My Sister’s Keeper, which was fab) and if I see the children having fun. So the holiday was a success on all those levels. Could just have done without the first day which was a write-off.
Ahhhhh. If only I had known you were in Devon too last week. I would have suggested a pub with a large garden where we could drink (drown our sorrows?!) whilst watching the kids get on with it. We forgot our equivelent of masking tape (silverfoil and blutak) and paid the price. We now have two supremely overtired children, one of whom needs to go to school this Thursday. And two supremely overtired adults. Fun. AND I dint get to read the 6 months of Saturday newspaper supplements I still have not finished. Haha. Who was I kidding?!
I keep thinking how lovely it would be to go to the USA next year to visit friends who just moved over. Then I get real.
Ah you see, silverfoil and blutak, you worked that out before we did!
I saw on FB you were in Devon last week, we were actually there the week before, but I would definitely have joined you at the pub anyway! And I am so glad to know that I am not the only one who savse months and months of supplements in the hope that they may be read one day.
Erm never really done anything other than camp or a couple of nights in a hotel with the boys, I am not sure when we will. I think you are brave, at least in a tent they can wear themslves out. SO for me, it is wine lots of it, pillows and thermals oh and a bucket for the middle of the night
Is it a bit rubbish that I admit to thermals as well then, even if I’m not staying in a tent? (I’m very cold-blooded!)
I’m not keen on camping but I know the children would love it and would be so tired that they would sleep all night.
I think the bin bag/tape thing is the smartest thing I’ve seen in a long time! What a great idea. Wish I’d thought to do that during our holidays.
Thank you. Don’t forget to pack them next trip!
Sorry but I had a chuckle at this post.
That’s quite alright
Exactly! I’ve never brought trash bags on a trip, but I think I might just do so now — brilliant.
Susan
Thank you
Making a mental note to pack black bags and masking tape in future
Hope you’ll get a good long night’s sleep…