Dear Children
Here are some of the most important things I would like you to know about me:
1. The single most important thing I want you to know about me is that I love you totally and utterly and that I think you are already lovely children who will become wonderful, kind-hearted adults. The world can never have too many of those.
When I am old and I look back on my life, I still think the most important thing I will have done is to make you (you have no idea how ridiculously proud I am of myself when I look at you!) and then guide you to become those wonderful, kind-hearted adults. Then my work will be done because so much else that is good in life stems from that. Even if you are poor, poorly, rich, popular or whatever you turn out to be, if you are kind-hearted you will be successful in life.
2. I also want you to know that I am a big softie. Oh wait, you already know that. When we watch a film, you never see the ending because you all turn to me to see if I am crying.
Yes I am.
Even if the movie is not sad.
A couple of you have inherited my soft side and I hope you will never see that as a weakness but as an opportunity to show empathy to other living things. For me, one of the great pleasures in life has been caring about things: my great passion (aside from my own family) is trying to make a difference: living lightly on this Earth, being careful to buy products that don’t harm other living creatures, supporting charities to reduce poverty and raising money for the disease that affects our family.
3. I have done lots of exciting – and also some slightly reckless – things in my life, travelled a bit, tried new things and now I’ve done them I don’t have any urge to do most of them again. If you have to do the same, I will hold my breath in fear but I will understand. Life is for living but at the same time remember the words my grandma used to say – ‘everything in moderation’. And I hope that if you get into trouble, if you run out of money, if you are stranded, if you have done something stupid, if you have difficult questions you will be able to turn to me. I will be here. I will understand. I will try not to get angry!
4. I have a temper and I shout. I’m not proud of this. I’m even less proud to admit that before I had you all, I was (and still am underneath) quite a mellow person. I am working on this bit of me harder than I would like to admit publicly but I want you to know that I don’t think it is OK for me to get so annoyed and irritable.
5. I’m a perfectionist. If you have inherited that from me, I’m sorry. I’m ambitious, a do-er, a list-maker. I am a Type-A. I know, I hate me too. But I get a lot done – I raise four children, run a small business and manage to have time for hugs everyday. There are worse things to be. I expect a lot from me but the downside of that is that I expect a lot from you too. I expect you to have good manners, to be hardworking, honest, reliable and respectful. We’ll get there: I have faith and you have good genes.
Learn to relax a little too though. I’ve learnt that now. Life is short, I try to enjoy every day. And the only way to do that is to stop, be mindful and appreciate the moment. I know that sounds a bit New-Age but there is no point rushing through life only to get to the end and realise you didn’t stop and enjoy it along the way.
And if you got the depression gene, all I can say is I’m sorry. And please make sure you look after yourself.
6. I love music. I’m a good pianist and not bad at singing. I’m a bit scarily clever. I’m modest though (except today, writing this!), so you won’t know much about what I’m good at. I don’t like fashion. I don’t like heights. I’m not a very inspired cook but I might be, one day. Once I had a job and got dressed up every morning and I loved that. Now I stay at home with you and work from home and I love that too but one day I will get to go back to work and I look forward to you seeing that side of me. I’m shy. I’m a homebody. I love writing, reading, taking great photographs and being a bit geeky with internet-type stuff; these are the things that make me tick and make me more than just your mother.
So that’s me. It was six things in the end. But always, always, number one is the most important.
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Welcome to the Friday Club Carnival, a weekly carnival held here. This week’s Carnival is all about five things you want your children to know about you and here are the other entries in this carnival, please click through and read these lovely posts:
Alysonsblog
Inside the Wendy House
Patch of Puddles
SAHMlovingit
Today We Made
I Need Curtains…
Metal Mummy
Major Love of Film
LLM Calling
QWERTY Mum
CherishedByMe
New Mum Online
Emma and 3
JoJo’s So Called Life
Cass@frugalfamily
And Then All I Thought About Was You
Grumpinator
helloitsgemma
Freckles Family
Scribbling Mum
liveotherwise – five things
Ailbhe
Mummy’s Little Monkey
Thinly Spread
gingerbread house
Jacq at Mymumdom
Not Yet a Yummy Mummy
southoftherivermum
Domestic Goddesque
Bloggomy
TheSixthElement
Tiddlyompompom
Stephs Two Girls
Cheeky Wipes
Bibsey Mama
Mummy From The Heart…
yuckymum
Lauren “Real Housewife”
Jo “Given To Distracting Others”
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Thanks to all these lovely bloggers for taking part.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
What a beautiful list. Now to print off and show them.
Thank you x
I shed a little tear whilst reading your post Ella, beautiful. I think a few of us have gone with similar choices (especially the reckless/making mistakes/being stupid theme). It’s funny but I think back to when I was younger and my Mum saying “I was young once you know” and me not paying attention to her. Now I fully understand where she was coming from x
Our mothers spoke many wise words, we were just too young to listen x
Thank you for hosting such a lovely carnival. So many touching posts! Your list is so lovely…you summed up number one perfectly
xxx
Thank you Wendy x
*Sniff* From one Type A list maker to another, this is a lovely, lovely list. Definitely one for their keepsake box x
Ah, thank you my lovely x
I’m so with you on numbers 2 and 4, one in laughter and one in shame.
I think my crying gene was turned up to 11 the day Fitz was born, since now I cry at pretty much everything. (Like ‘The Day After Tomorrow’, you know, when Jake Gyllenhaal calls his dad to say he’s stuck in New York and the freeze is coming, and his dad says ‘stay there I’m coming to get you’. Because you would go and get your baby from anywhere, wouldn’t you? Global climate disaster happening or not… Dear me – I’m off…)
And the temper. I know my mum was shouty, and my grandad was shouty. I wasn’t shouty, not until recently. I’m working hard on it too. We’ll get there.
I was crying at TV adverts after Harry was born :0
What a lovely post, I might show the kids yours and pretend it’s mine lol
He he, go for your life
This is a fantastic list and a really great idea–for non-bloggers as well!
Thank you
Definitely some cross over with my 5 things (although I can’t play the piano, I have been considering lessons), but I’m not a perfectionist, more of a ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ type girl…
I’ve become more ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ as I have become busier but if I have enough time I always resort to perfectionist, or stay up late finishing a project that should have taken me half the time.
What a brilliant post I love the fact that you are going to hold your breath in fear, but understand. I think that sums up my mother and my relationship. She is scared of everything heights, planes, boats, bridges and trains. Before Baba I moved to London and went on trains every day, went on a cruise, flew on holidays, jumped out of a plane she totally held her breath in fear, she understood though xx
I think we owe it to our children to let them do these things (within reason!) even if we are fearful ourselves.
Fabulous Ella, written with such passion. You sound a lot like me from much of what you have written. I also get a bit shouty and am completely un-proud of it too. I also have that perfectionist gene and expect too much of myself and other people. I like your take on it, you seem very upbeat and accepting of yourself. How fab.
Mich x
Love it – but espeacily number 1!!!!!
xxxx
What a beautiful idea, I am going to do this for my children too!
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