Dog Days

A farm by season

My beloved dog, Defa, died six months ago today. I haven’t been in the field where I walked with her every day even once since she died. I watch the changing seasons, revelling in their beauty, and always with the thought of how Defa would have loved the farm fields as they changed. Nature is [...]

Even the house aches with emptiness

‘We can all have breakfast together now,’ I say brightly but my heart aches with emptiness. Two nights ago I was awake from 2am sitting with my poorly dog. Last night I was awake from 3am, grieving for her. ********* ‘Defa doesn’t seem quite herself this evening,’ I say to Matthew as he gets home [...]

Enjoying these days

The dog is home and until last night was doing basically okay. Tuesday’s test confirmed pancreatitis and a shortenened life expectancy. Today she is very sick again. If she is going to be repeatedly sick and/or in and out of the vet for stressful overnight stays we will have to consider her quality of life. [...]

As if the last year hasn’t been bad enough

Almost a year ago to the day, my beloved dog Brin started showing clinical symptoms that, unbeknownst to us, would mean she only had a few weeks to live. Those of you who have been long term readers will know how terrible those few weeks were for me. Today, my other beloved dog Defa is [...]

Where nothing ever good happens

I’m at the vet. Defa quivers almost uncontrollably because she knows, quite rightly, that nothing ever good happens here. ‘She’s lost quite a lot of weight, hasn’t she?’ the vet comments as the scales struggle to settle on the weight of the shaking dog. ‘Should I feed her more?’ I ask, knowing that she doesn’t [...]

Guarded

This week we heard that our surviving dog, Defa, also has liver disease. Her prognosis is guarded: she could have as little as a year with us or she could live much longer, they can’t say until the worst happens. I have spent a lot of time with her – perhaps too much time – [...]

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