Ritual Humiliation

Not the kind of sex education I want to teach

‘What’s a snog, Mum?’ ‘It’s another word for a kiss.’ Harry looks embarrassed. ‘Oh.’ ‘Is someone talking about kissing at school?’ There is silence. He won’t be drawn and goes back to his homework. But he’s not finished. ‘So what’s sex then?’ I’m unfazed, we’ve had this conversation plenty of times. ‘Sex is when a [...]

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Oh the IRONY!!!

The home-made soup I have laboured over this morning simmers menacingly. This week’s migraine is pounding a rhythm carefully on the inside of my skull when Eight – his homework spread across the kitchen table – asks me to explain the difference between funny-haha and funny-ironic. I stop and think and can almost feel my [...]

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Bush

My children are blessed with generous family and godparents and, as a result, each of the children has their own camera. It seems absurd to admit that at age 4, or age 2, they have a camera – albeit secondhand ones – and at first I was slightly ashamed of the fact. But despite having [...]

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Front door news

We miss most of the Trick-or-Treaters as we are out at a party. We get back and Ben, my routine-loving toddler, starts to close all the doors. I watch him make his way to the front door, pulling the loo door open towards him and manoevering himself into the corner of the hallway by the [...]

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More ice for my balls

Over the summer I have been taking both my eldest boys to speech therapy. I was dreading loading all three into a hot, sweaty car on a hot, sweaty day when all of them would probably rather be in bed, comatose with exhaustion from occupying each other for a whole morning. And also when I [...]

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